Wild Ride-Part 2

I am not sure if I blogged on this, but I have felt from almost the beginning of our process that we were going to have two more children come into our lives.  I knew how my husband felt about adding another, or at least I thought I knew.  I turns out I was wrong and he was not against having more children just not ready to jump into international again.  The cost and wait was just really too much for him.

God knew and did not delay.  We arrived home from Uganda on the 9^th of August and by the 26^th of August we had another boy living in the house.  We came to know of  Collin on the 22^nd.  His story was heartbreaking.  I got to meet him on the 23^rd and my heart was aching for him.  He had lost both his parents in just a matter of months.  He spent the night here and I think I cried myself to sleep that night.  All I could think about was a friend’s motto of LIVE LOVE LOUD.  How could we not do something for this child?  How could we have traveled half way around the world and be in a mountain of debt for one child, and not step in to help this one here in front of us.

All these emotions and of course Joel was out of town for a few days.  He came home that Friday and I think that is all I talked about that whole weekend.  We even spoke to the girls to get their insight on our drive down to Charlotte to visit family.  I cried silent tears listening to my oldest say, “He has no one, why can’t we be his someone?”  That being said, Collin has some awesome family that loves him, but are not able to care for him at this time.  It is from those awesome family members, who happen to be awesome friends of ours, we were able to know this wonderful boy.

I have to confess that one of my first thoughts was, “People will think we are crazy.”  That thought stayed in my mind all of about 2 minutes………..let them think we are crazy.  God has called us to LOVE.  That may look crazy and reckless to some, but I am not willing to live the alternative.  Yes we have a mountain of debt, no we do not have enough bedrooms, yes our car is a little snug, but all those things do not matter in God’s kingdom.  We can love this boy and provide for him for as long as needed.  Did you hear me? WE CAN LOVE.  It is a choice.  You can too.  If God calls you to step out of your comfort zone in any way………do it.

It may only be for weeks, months, or years.  We are going to have to go to court to become his legal guardians.  I finally feel like our family is complete. We are going to need tons of prayer, as we gel as a family.  We have one with a broken heart, one learning who his momma is after spending his first 8 months in an orphanage, and three that are sharing their hearts and home.  It is crazy, but it is CRAZY LOVE.  I would have it no other way.

Now excuse me while I do my third load of laundry for the day.

J

The other day when I was feeling frustrated and weary, many of my friends and family sent encouraging scriptures.  I cherished all of them, but one spoke on everything I have been experiencing in this adoption process.  It was the Book of James.  I even had some of the verses underlined already in red ink.

It spoke on trials, which I had been experiencing and in the midst of others who were experiencing them for even longer than I had been.  The scripture said,

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Wow!  That was humbling.  I needed these troubles to help open my eyes, open my heart, and fix my vision on the one who was in control of it all.  GOD!

It spoke on adoption, which some people do not even realize that God commands us to care for those.   I have blogged about this topic before and my interpretation is that “caring” for them can be done in many different ways.   The scripture said,

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

As someone that has chosen to adopt, I will say that you get a ton of people questioning you.  You have those that ask why you did not adopt in the States, those that ask why you adopted out of your race, and the list goes on.  You have offices that delay needed paperwork, because they do not agree with the process.  I am determined to arm myself with God’s word and know that this is what He called us to do.  It is not an easy process, but worth it in the end.  Everyone else’s’ judgment and questions will not deter what He has placed on my heart.

On that note, James also speaks on taming the tongue.  I have had to do that in this process.  There are times I want to scream and cry out against the injustice, but I know that is not what God would want of me.  I need not fight the battle for Him, He has already won.  The scripture says this,

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers, this should not be. “

May I remember that when my frustrations run high.  My tongue should work to glorify Him and point others to Him.

I encourage you to read the book of James and I know it will touch on at least one area of your life.   I am so thankful for friends that pray for us and point us to God’s word for encouragement.  I really do not know how anyone gets through life without Him.

J

Awakening….again! Yes this mean mommy could not wait to see her baby, so she had them get him out of bed in the middle of the night AGAIN. It was much like the last time except we did not have daddy videotaping. He did not smile at first, just wanted to look around at all the lights. He does not get out in the dark very often I am assuming. He was mesmerized.

I climbing in the car with him and he snuggled against me. It took him a few minutes and then he noticed my necklace. An awesome friend made it for me and he loved it on our last trip. He reached for it and it was almost if that had triggered his little memory. He looked right up at me and grinned. He knew this crazy white lady that wakes him up in the middle of the night. The one that wears his picture and the pictures of his sisters around her neck. He remembered and he seemed very happy about being in my arms. My heart was at peace.

Once we got to where we were staying we snuggled into sleep for the night. He did awesome and slept thru the night. This boy could sleep through anything. I was awakened a ton during the night from nearby music, barking dogs, religious chanting, crazy loud birds, and there he was sleeping right through it all. Praying he will do that on the plane ride home.

We awoke the next morning to a wonderful breakfast and an awesome surprise. No more feeling fearful about being here by myself. I was greeted by three other brave mommas here to finalize their adoption processes and bring their babies home. We were a sight to see and hear with 4 mommas, 5 babies under age 2, and an 8 yr old. These women are awesome. They have been here for weeks and still have the right amount of humor and faith to get through this process. Adoption is never easy do not let anyone tell you it is. I will say that it teaches you so much about yourself and what you can endure with God by your side. I read this verse today and thought it fit perfectly for this journey.

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

J

Court date 29 June 2012

The court date had finally arrived. My wife and I were dressed up and ready to go. I was wearing a suit that I borrowed from my brother-in-law and Jennifer was in a $13 special from Ross, I love that place. We arrived very early and sat in the waiting area and people watched. More people watching us, than us watching them.

Our turn finally came up and we nervously sat down to start our adoption hearing. Our wonderful lawyer started with introduction of all the people in attendance. There was our social worker from Bethany Christian Services, a local chairman from the village of the mother, the Mid-wife who helped with the birth of the child, the Orphanage director, the Baby boy, Jennifer and myself.

The Judge had several questions for the Mid-wife, the Chairman, and myself. He was very thorough and requested a little more paperwork. In the end we were very happy with the hearing and departed quickly so we could start on getting the information and paperwork that the Judge requested. We have a follow up court date on Friday afternoon before we leave that evening. Our prayer is that the Judge will have a ruling for us at that time to determine if the requirements have been met and if we are fit to be the legal guardians of that Baby Boy!

Please keep in prayer about this with us as we are scheduled to leave Friday evening and would like to have that decision before we go home.

Monday, June 25th, 2012. An average day in most people’s lives, but a day that will be forever remembered and not just because I am writing about it.

There are a few words that would describe that day for me; epic, surreal, moving, emotional, and unbelievable, just to name a few.

The day started off strong. I got in my last workout with my fellow fitness brothers at “Raise the Bar (RtB)”, said goodbye to my friends, packed up the last of our household goods, closed on the sale of our home in Virginia, and started my Permanent Change of Station (PCS) to Fort Bragg, NC. That in and of itself would be enough ”action” for one day. However the Lord had other plans.

My plans from there for the coming days were already set in my mind. I would start my leave, close on our new home in NC and enjoy a few days of down time in our hotel as we waited for our household goods to be delivered.

Then Jennifer called a few hours into my drive and our lives would become a blur. She had received a call from our Adoption agency with good and bad news. Good news was our court date for the adoption was finally set after almost two years of waiting. Bad news we needed to be there no later than Thursday morning!

Did I mention that it was Monday? Or that I was “between” units and was not scheduled to sign in for two weeks? Or that I needed a new leave form so I could go to Africa? Or that at a minimum it takes two days to get to Africa? What about plane tickets last minute? The cost? How long do we stay? The list goes on and on and on………….

There was so much that needed to be coordinated logistically and otherwise. I was ready to and have handled international travel, but usually with at least 10 days notice not 48 hours. The worst part of this was that I could do almost nothing because I was driving and still had 4 hours of travel left. I have mental checklist of supplies, paperwork, clothes and bags that needed to be combed through. They say Gods timing is perfect, but it was looking pretty terrible to me at the moment. I was extremely frustrated at so many different levels. God was FORCING me to let go and let him work. I hated it! Then in steps Super Woman! My wife, that poor woman, had left a day earlier and was relaxing with the girls at the hotel. She had to start planning the whole trip by herself, with little guidance from me. I was able to communicate some things to her, but due to the constraints of our timeline and situation we were not able to arrange things as we would have liked.

One of the issues we did not see coming was our packing. We had only packed enough clothes and supplies to last us a about a week as we transitioned from our old house to our new house. The movers had packed up all of our household goods to include all of our clothes. That realization did not hit us until I was told I needed to wear a suit to court. Also I needed to wear pants in public, not that I go pant less very often, but that shorts were not the norm. Jennifer also had to dress very conservatively. In addition to that, as I was going through my mental checklist medications started to come to mind. When I travel I always had a medical kit together. It is comprised of simple things that people may take for granted like Imodium, Motrin, Benadryl, and others. If you want the list shoot me an email. Most importantly we needed Malaria medication and we were between doctors. You cannot just pick that up at the local Drug Store without a prescription. Our summer beach like apparel was not going to cut it. Off to Ross’s, TJ Max and Wal-Mart we would go that night!

About 2 hours prior to my arrival at the same location with Jennifer I got one last call that topped this whole day of emotion off. Jennifer had just received a call that her mother had been diagnosed with cancer. Talk about a gut shot. I thought to myself really God! I am excited that we get to go see our little man, but could this have not happen at a different time. Here we are dealing with a life changing event that requires our attendance half a world away, between moves in the next 48 hours and now this?! What do I say? How should I feel? What next? Well I will tell you how I felt….Pissed off! My wife is doing and dealing with enough as I am on the longest drive of my life. Now she hears that her mom has cancer and I cannot even be there to console her? I know people say God will not give you more than you can handle, but how much is enough? God is more confident on our ability to handle trials and tribulation than we are, because this was stressing me. I am a pretty laid back person and I do not get stressed very easily. This however was stressing me and testing me for sure.

In the end she had booked two tickets to leave the next evening for Uganda. My gaining unit allowed me to sign in early and in-process enough to put me back on leave for Uganda. They also were able to get me the Malaria medication that we needed. We drove to Charlotte the next morning for our flight. Our family in Charlotte had moved into action and took all three of our children for as long as we needed.

All this to say God is great and I am a Human in great need of my Lord and savior.